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On becoming a grandmother

2 February, 2015

So about two weeks ago I was sent a text asking to meet the eldest.  As we often catch up it was one of those “there is something we need to discuss” note to it.  In my mind I ran through possibilities – he was getting engaged, he was pregnant, he was splitting up, it was a work thing…

As I went through each scenario I had to ask myself, “how do I feel?” and when it came to the “pregnant” one asked the same question.  How would I feel if my 21 year old, who isn’t married and living between two homes and I stopped for a moment.

Babies, no matter how prepared you are for them, no matter if you actually plan for them, never arrive at a perfect time.  You might think you’re pregnant, you might hope you’re pregnant but when it’s finally confirmed you yelp and go “Oh my God” as the news finally sinks in.

So when I sat across from my eldest and he is either silent because of what he has to tell me or dodging the elephant on the street I finally get his phone thrust into my hand and a picture of an ultrasound is on the screen.  Ok.  It’s a baby and it’s not a little baby – it’s a 12 week old baby! almost.

So we chat.  He wants to move out of her place to their own place where they can be their own unit.  She doesn’t want to. She only confirmed over the new year period and had been putting it off until then.  He only found out about three days and they told her mum the night before.

A million things run through my head – timing is terrible, my son is repeating my own mistakes, could he not have controlled himself? Could he not have been more careful? Could he not have honoured her more and waited? I’m too young to be a grandmother! How do they feel? Are they tight together? What about getting engaged (does that get sped up now?)? We can help with baby things. OMG I feel old! I work fulltime, when am I going to see them and my grandbaby? I’m jealous of her mum who will have them living on site. I can buy and goo at all the cute baby clothes for real now!

And I have to keep my feelings squashed from telling his siblings and hubby who is away for a few days.  We chat more and I find out how reluctant they both are to share their news – they are feeling they will be judged by friends and family too. They are reluctant to tell hubby for how he will react – he tells the eldest he is ruining his life with tattoos and piercings – what will a permanent fixture of a child do?!

My feelings are all over the place and I don’t have the hormones that this gorgeous girl has coursing through her with time ticking for decisions to be made.  Life has suddenly sped up and we have a due date of the end of July which life changes will occur on.  Life has already changed.  My son is a father! How fantastic and amazing! How scary!

Both us grand mothers revolt and don’t want to be called grandmothers – we’re both early 40’s.  We want trendy names – I like “Pippy”, hubby likes “Pop” – the eldest says he will choose for us!  As we take the time out to discuss the new land before us we confess that we are having to let our children make choices and decisions that we had to make for them such a short time ago – obstetrician, vaccinations, health decisions, house decisions, money decisions – it’s time to really let our kids fly and that’s new grounds for us.  I do like this straightforward woman who I now get to do life with!

And I love her daughter, she’s cute and sassy.  She bosses my boy around where she needs to and makes him a better man. Sure there are things I don’t like about him but she likes him and that’s all that counts.  I really hope I have done a good enough job starting him off on life.  Hubby seemed to think she was not the one for our boy but I don’t think anyone is good enough in his eyes.

Grandkids! A whole new fun way of life!! Oh, and I’ve started buying stuff to make a package!


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