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The honest truth

4 February, 2014

For one; there just doesn’t seem to be enough hours in the day at times

Two; there is never enough money in my bank

Three; has my marriage really failed? Or rather should I ask myself; have I really failed my marriage?

We’ve had two joint counselling sessions. We went to a third and as we were getting nowhere due to our “negative sentiment override” one of us was asked to leave. I left.

I went myself a couple of days later. I seriously asked if we had left it too late.

Between our first and second session things were as hostile as they have ever been. Between the second and third we just seemed to avoid talking.

At the last session hubby said he wouldn’t discuss with me what was said. At my session I was given homework for us both.

This morning I broached our homework with hubby and I was hopeful when he didn’t initially challenge me to answer first (but the hope was short lived).

What he did say was that he thought it was for us to talk about during our session next. Next he said he couldn’t see 10 years ahead. If he looked at 1 year he saw us separated.

For me thinking 10 years ahead I have to wonder if I see hubby in it at all. Honestly, I’m not sure I see a future with hubby.

We have turned into less than colleagues. Even colleagues know more about each other and care more about each other than we seem to currently.

Hubby spends the majority of his time at home on his laptop on the couch with us but not joining in with anything or in the other room on his desktop.

He says I’m always on my iPhone to justify his own detachment and sometimes I might seem to be but I’m often conscious of putting it down to watch tv and pick it up during ads.

I don’t know where to go from here


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