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Out of sorts

20 November, 2013

It seems there’s a bit of it going around lately. My team leader has just been in talking about lack of work checking which has put her effort to help someone out with a minor check of paperwork back by a month or two.

I’m out of sorts too though, coldsores, waking this morning with a crusty throat, stupidly I picked at one of my fingers and now have a very tender finger with a sore that is taking a while to heal up properly and trying to get hold of people so I can move my own work on just doesn’t seem to be happening!

I arrived into work this morning to find an extra desk in our office and I’ve been informed that it’s to be my Monday desk – I have no computer and of course because I haven’t had to use it since it was just moved in there is nothing on the desk, nothing personal, no office equipment, nothing.

I guess the reality is that I can share computers when someone is away from their desk – it’s the expected thing in this department but it reinforces the “homeless” feeling – no phone, no computer, no personal touches.

Besides all of that I was really unsettled yesterday evening after getting home from work. I finished at 4.30pm and it was raining in a light, drizzly fashion. The plan had been to meet the eldest for his work card so we could discount what we planned to buy – a skirt/dress for my daughter, a shirt and also ended up buying Aztec pyjama bottoms, a couple of summer scarves and then my new work sandals to replace the ones on my feet that were sadly falling apart and hurting my feet.

Well there was noise and chatter from the two youngest, there was the heavy, weighty, feeling of spending money that was utterly depressing. There was rain falling more heavily now as we walked to the car and then I answered the phone to my telephone provider who were giving me a “courtesy call” to tell me we exceeded our data on our phone and after a minor disagreement said they would credit me $100 and not $185 that I was asking them to.

Sitting in a fogged up car, wet, wanting to just leave and go home, arguing with a mobile phone provider wasn’t a good start to the finish of the day. On the way home we still had to get shopping too.

Even bringing bags from the car into the supermarket was just too damn hard. One bag was grabbed and halfway through with items exceeding bag capacity a child was dispatched to the car for more bags. Argh, this plastic bag free shopping (or pay minimum 15c per “reusable” bag) is a pain in the behind.

We got what we needed and more useless stuff besides. Back in the car and when we got home to our gate no-one moved. A brief argument ensued and the eldest stormed off to open the gate. I opened my ominous mail and it was from Breast Screen Australia to inform me of my impending mammogram – Joy!

Dinner was put into the oven, a coffee was made, shopping was put away, a cat got into an empty bag, the eldest started drumming, the middlest was on the PS3 playing Assassins Creed. I escaped to my room and put away clothes.

I shut down. I was not coping and in that not coping I went quiet. My daughter asked me what was up and I couldn’t articulate it. Dinner was served with complaints that the pizza and the wedges would be unevenly cooked and they should have been put in separately. More gripes.

I don’t remember much of what I did then, maybe I just disappeared into the cyber world of Facebook, Instagram and Twitter while paying half attention to the tv. My daughter disappeared though and when I went to find her she was having a sulk and “didn’t want to talk”.

I battled her for a few minutes before leaving her having thrown her covers off her and tossing pillows around the already messy room. I left her for a short while before getting back in her face and she sort of talked to me. Good thing I’m more stubborn than her!

Dark Knight was on tv and somehow I delayed going to bed until the end of the movie at 11.30pm having also tasted my son’s attempt at gluten free Pina Colada cupcakes for his new girlfriend. Finish up my coffee and read for a little before falling asleep around midnight with a cat behind my knees, dog on my feet and empty side of bed where hubby lies.

Waking up this “hump day” was very slow though. The alarm went off, the “dumb blonde” came up for some heavy breathing and a brief lick of my hand. I dragged myself out of bed late then and the middlest was let loose with the car for the day in the city. Eek!

I’m tired. I can’t find people I need to talk to. Work has diminished to the point I’m working at a slower pace just to look busy but I really don’t care right now if I don’t look busy. I just want to leave, grab a coffee, take 5 minutes out of the day (or 50) and stop.

The sky is grey – never a good thing for my mood I’ve noticed. The sensor light in my office has gone off as my touch typing doesn’t make me move enough to trip the sensor on. It feels like a dreary winter day.

The youngest boy made a depressing statement yesterday, saying that the solstice was just a month away and then the days would be getting shorter again. Shorter but hotter as we are only at the beginning of summer here.

Hubby is back from his uplifting and energising conference which is predominantly women in public relations he says. Yesterday he heard from the amazing founder of Red Balloon. I told him it was a fantastic company. He later sent me an email saying she was a crazy chick! At least he’s having fun.

Time for a safety coffee!

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