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Damned hormones

25 October, 2013

Yet again I hit an emotional slump. It started on Wednesday morning when I was dropping the kids to school and I was going into work along, hubby taking a sick day (cough).

The middlest and the youngest boy clashed heads which ended up with kicks, punches and the youngest boy forgetting his iPad for school.

While their whole tiff was going on I tried to remain calm and not get flapped by it but when the youngest boy told me on the road that he’d left his iPad behind and he’d need it for a heap of his classes I just stopped.

I got rid of the middlest and called into work saying I wouldn’t be coming in. Our daughter had been off school with sunstroke and headaches too and had told me I should stay home.

Instead of going in to work I went to our friend’s restaurant where hubby and daughter met me for breakfast but boy was I feeling beaten up and guilty by then. From there the mood stayed down and is still pretty low.

Yesterday was a bank holiday for us so I remained in pyjamas until I had to go out and collect the middlest from his day out. I didn’t feel guilty about remaining in my pyjamas for the day but I do feel bad about not picking up my study and cracking on with my assignment which is due Sunday.

I just can’t seem to find the motivation to do it though. I called Open University this morning to remove next semester’s Psychology from my units. It’s just not worth the arguments and whinges from my daughter who wants my company and my family have missed out enough of me over the last 6 years since I trained and then went onto shift work.

I also miss the family time, interactions and just being able to sit down without feeling guilty that I haven’t done my homework!

Hubby said “it could be worse, it could be Monday.” To which I replied “At least I won’t feel like this on Monday!”

That is one consolation, at least I can see that these slumps are usually only a day or two in their depressing reality. I don’t have to endure the slump with no view of it never ending. I know it will pick up without much effort on my part to “cheer up”.

However, I am feeling rather grungy. I need a good shower and a pick me up. I need the wind to stop blowing and the sun to shine. I need my tattoo to stop itching and making me feel like I want to flay my skin!

I want to sleep again too, from eyes closed around 10pm until 7am. An undisturbed sleep. And I want to wake up and not have my cat paw at my nose because he wants to be petted. He ended up lying on my back when I rolled out of his paw reach!

And the beagle didn’t budge until I was leaving the bedroom. My daughter was sound asleep when we left.

It’s just not fair! I don’t want to grow up!


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