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It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to

15 September, 2013

This morning dawned and I was woken slowly by my cat nestled into my side. I was clammy after what would have been an attack of the mid-morning sweats.

Hubby made me a coffee for my birthday and my daughter tried to drag me out of bed but I resisted until it was finished.

Morning was nice and slow with tv, snuggles with kids, coffee and then my daughter and I went into the city for what turned out (in my mind) to be a disappointment. http://www.girlsdayout.org.au

The greeting was amazing. As good as any I’ve ever had at church or a big event. When we got in there were stalls of food, gym clubs, makeup, fashion and craft stalls.

But it was busy with girls of all shapes and sizes and various forms of makeup on. None were rude. The stallholders we talked to were friendly but I was just underwhelmed.

Maybe there was just too many people for me. There were people sitting on some covered sponge on pallets (great idea) in the centre but I didn’t sit. We finally grabbed a cupcake for an extortionate amount of money and sat outside as a friend sang an acoustic set.

We were stuffed when we finished. We went through our bags and took out all the rubbish brochures before keeping a pen and notepad.

We then went and walked through the nearby cafe square before ending up in the puzzle/toy shop. When we thought about getting a drink we both said “Meh”.

We left the city then, picked up the eldest, went to get my birthday Boost Juice (Green Tea Mango Mantra) and cruised some shops (me reluctantly). Then home.

The stunning spring day wore on and as it did my mood seemed to drop. I feel restless. I saw a photo on photoaday of Yosemite National Park and felt a pang of yearning. I want to get lost in the pine forests, walk in the deciduous woods, get back to nature, get back to my northern roots.

I don’t know why this unsettled feeling is here. I would leave my job, my home, my state and travel in a heartbeat.

Hubby made a roast dinner for us. Pork, roast potatoes, sweet potato, carrots, parsnips and gravy (which he managed to knock over). It was nothing fancy but tasted yummy.

My mood though has gone elsewhere. I think of work tomorrow with a heavy heart. Joy comes in tiny spurts as my daughter tries talking with a giant chocolate Button in her mouth.

I don’t know what I want. I don’t know what I need. Maybe I need a kick in the butt!

Pip

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