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Doing and not doing

25 June, 2013

I’m doing what I shouldn’t be doing – Facebook, Candy Crush, tv, coffee making and feeling guilty.

I’m not doing what I should be doing – uni reading, work, bible reading, opening mail, cooking and washing up.

I had to make a deal with myself. If read a chunk of a reading and then I could blog.

I don’t know why I’ve stopped reading my emails the last few days. I know I was put off reading when I last studied but this is different.

I’m reading Inferno, I’m reading Escape from Camp 14 but still I feel empty. I know tonight I’m being snappy.

All weekend I had a head cold coming on. Moving symptoms each day. On Saturday we were having a midwinter get together.

It was down to me to make soup (pumpkin and potato and leek), get a shoulder of lamb in the slow cooker, prepare other nibbles and serve.

Hubby did nothing to contribute beyond the morning shopping. He said he’d clean up but hasn’t. As a result I feel resentful and that feeling hasn’t dissipated days later.

I stayed off work yesterday and today. Yesterday the kids stayed off too. My daughter had a headache and my youngest boy offered to stay home and make me lattes.

My daughter today has punched me at every opportunity. Hard. Not soft but still in play. Every time I’ve asked her to do something I am either ignored or talked back to.

I’m tired by the disrespect. I know some of it is in jest. She’s over the constant seeming jobs that are given out. She wants a sketch book, shoes, cinema, chocolate… The list never ends.

Maybe it’s just that I’m bored. I don’t know but I’m beginning not to like the skin I’m in.

Hopefully a good sleep and back to work tomorrow will help get me back on track.



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