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Hours later

4 June, 2013

I returned back to my office after getting out for a different job today meeting a wonderful lady for a task I’d rather not have had to do but was necessary for some closure. While I was out I made a couple of phone calls.

The first was to my welfare friend. He was to have organised my job change which he’d expected to do tomorrow. Suddenly it had been taken out of his hands by the supervisors and my speedy departure from one workplace to another had been made.

I also spoke with a friend and colleague who wasn’t in the office today to update her and hubby who wanted to act in my defence and defend me in my depression.

Back in the office and my daughter sent me a text to say she was there. Get her and it was the early finish time for some colleagues and for me to inform one as she left rather than getting a more impersonal email.

As I then went into my desk and framed up a farewell email I got to send each one of my colleagues a personal note. As I said to them all, I will miss them dearly but as long as the supervisor is there I won’t visit. Last time I did I got into trouble.

So it wasn’t a great “goodbye” and I’ve been told by some already that they’re going to miss me but it was not how I’d envisaged moving on. Time ticking though and it was time to gather up my things so I didn’t need to be returning for anything.

In many ways I’m looking forward to the new position I’ll be working in but as the niggling coldsore (again) bubbles up I’m so apprehensive of how I’ll be accepted into this new environment.

Will the new supervisors take both the old supervisor’s words and hold them against me? Will the new supervisors give me the chance they say to excel? Will I really be able to excel in this area or have I made a great big mistake?

So much self doubt now. I feel the stress in the coldsore and wish it were easier to put it out of my body. I hope I have the clothes to be able to look the part in my new area.

I’m ready for bed. A new start. A new day.

Pip

Sent from my iPad

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